Limericks of CACTUS

Inspired by the Limericks of Doom written by the great BenjaminTheDonkey, I kicked off this un-Denial site many years ago with a limerick I wrote to honor Dr. Varki & Dr. Brower for their important MORT theory that explains the existence and behavior of one very unusual animal on this planet.

For explaining why humans are odd
To Varki and Brower we applaud
A great mystery they solved
With denial we evolved
And created the Higgs, overshoot, and God

The last line attempts to communicate the three most amazing things about the human brain that MORT explains:

1. Higgs is a particle we predicted would exist using theories we created to explain how the universe works, and was confirmed to exist 48 years after our prediction. Higgs is a metaphor for our extreme curiosity and intelligence that successfully explained the creation of the universe, origin of life, and one very special brain. No other species comes close to this accomplishment. Varki & Brower’s MORT theory explains how and why our brain evolved across a barrier to enable this unique capability.
2. Overshoot: We used our unique extended theory of mind and intelligence to dominate all other species, and to create the complexity that enables modernity with a population of more than 8 billion totally dependent on rapidly depleting non-renewable resources, while aggressively denying our obvious overshoot predicament and probable CACTUS ending. Varki & Brower’s MORT theory explains why we are in overshoot and why we deny it.
3. God: Humans have a near universal belief in life after death, despite zero supporting evidence, and plentiful contradictory evidence. God is a shorthand word we use for life after death. No other animal has Gods and Varki & Brower’s MORT theory explains why.

Gaia suggested we write a limerick for CACTUS.

I think this is a great idea, and a nice way to honor Hideaway’s CACTUS theory, which is the only significant new idea in the overshoot space since Varki’s MORT theory 10 years ago.

You are invited to write a limerick about CACTUS, and to publish it as a comment on this post.

I will then copy them here for better visibility.

After a few weeks, or when new contributions stop, we’ll have a vote to select the best, and I will publish it in the coveted second from the top position of the sidebar favorite quotes.

If it turns out that multiple limericks have “best of” lines, maybe we can collaborate on merging them into one super best limerick .

Here’s a sample of some of my favorite limericks by BenjaminTheDonkey, copied from here.

I’m O.K. with more BAU—
It’s better than being all through;
The truth is, my friend,
I don’t want it to end,
And neither, I’m betting, do you.

We’d be smart to shut our damn yaps
And keep this doom stuff under wraps:
If we kept it hush-hush,
We might put off the rush
To inevitable collapse.

But it doesn’t take a savant
To excuse being nonchalant:
Once we admit
That we can’t change jack shit,
It doesn’t matter what we want.

Rational Animals: An Oxymoron

What logical reasoning gave
To us since we came from the cave
Sure got lots of ink
And changed how we think
But not the way we behave.

Define limerick.

A limerick is a specific form of short, humorous, and often nonsensical poetry. It follows a very strict structural and rhythmic pattern that makes it instantly recognizable—and usually quite catchy.

The Structure

• A limerick always consists of exactly five lines.
• Rhyme Scheme: It follows an AABBA pattern.
• Lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme with each other.
• Lines 3 and 4 rhyme with each other (and are usually shorter).

The Rhythm (Meter)

• Limericks rely on a bouncy rhythm called anapestic meter. This means two short syllables followed by one long, stressed syllable (da-da-DUM).
• Lines 1, 2, and 5 typically have three beats.
• Lines 3 and 4 typically have two beats.

Example

To see the anatomy in action, here is a classic example:

There was an Old Man with a beard, (A)
Who said, “It is just as I feared!— (A)
Two Owls and a Hen, (B)
Four Larks and a Wren, (B)
Have all built their nests in my beard!” (A)

Common Characteristics

• The “Opening”: Most limericks begin by introducing a person and a place (e.g., “There once was a man from Nantucket…”).
• The Twist: The final line usually serves as a punchline or a surprising conclusion to the “story.”
• Tone: They are almost always lighthearted, whimsical, or even a bit “naughty” (though many are written specifically for children).

Contributions

#1 – By Gaia gardener:

Down under lives a sage we call Uncle,
Whose Theory of CACTUS would prickle
The masses who deny
Modernity’s end is nigh,
Yet none can refute nor debunkle! 

#2 – By Gaia gardener:

At un-Denial we hold daily practice,
led by Rob so nothing distracts us,
from the doctrine of MORT,
and civilisation cut short,
because Seriously, we’re all CACTUS!  

#3 – By Renaee:

We gather as we cannot conceive
That the masses don’t see what we see
But we figured it out
It started to sprout!
Then the cactus prick set us all free

#4 – By Renaee:

There once was a man from Arizona
He saw FIRE then saw it’s all over
Coz when humans got lit
It all turned to shit
But really it’s the BLOB that’s the poser

#5 – By Nick:

It’s clearly our cognitive style
To process hard truth with denial
We’re not rational actors
So ideas like CACTUS
Can be safely ignored
… for a while

#6 – By Gaia gardener:

Our predicament shouldn’t be hard to explain
to a species with a sizable brain,
We’re heading off the CACTUS cliff,
far too late to cry “what if?”,
and it’s not the free fall, but the landing that’s a pain!

#7 – By Flippr:

No problem here says our regime
As weather becomes more extreme
Tornados blowing!
Floods, start rowing!
FEMA will make it all peaches and cream

#8 – By el mar:

CACTUS, the truth telling plant,
is predicting a Seneca End!
Until the terminal end of BAU,
carpe diem – enjoy yor life now,
don´t expect to receive any rent.

#9 – By nikoB:

It appears that soon we’ll all be cactus
No longer is the time just to practice
They’ve shut the Straits of Hormuz
Now we’re all set to lose
The Orange man has certainly Fracked us

#10 – By David H:

The society’s gears are well oiled,
The landscapes that were are now spoiled.
When there’s naught left to mine,
We can only opine,
“What a shame that we’ll all soon be broiled”

#11 – By Rob:

Modernity requires growth
Of complexity & scale both
Experts all missed it
None have admitted it
Because reality’s too damn gross

#12 – By Rob:

Complexity & scale must gain
In a planet wide supply chain
Unfortunately infinite
Is impossible on finite
So expect high but short pain

#13 – By Rob:

Resources decline in quality
Forcing up scale & complexity
As they deplete
Best we first eat
Supernova is modernity

#14 – By Rob (with edit by Renaee):

Modernity requires continual growth
Resource flows & complexity both
Debt can reset
But physics is set
Only a wish or a dream is degrowth

#15 – By Renaee:

Mind Over Reality Transition
Got us into this crazy position
The game was rigged from the start
With no way to depart
From our inevitable Cactus affliction

#15A – By Renaee (with edit by Rob):

Mind Over Reality Transition
Created our overshoot position
Denied from the start
With no way to depart
From our CACTUS destination

#15B – By Renaee (with edit by Rob & Renaee):

Mind Over Reality Transition
Kickstarted our overshoot condition
Denied from the start
With no way to depart
From our fated CACTUS fruition

#16 – By paqnation:

The blob consumes energy through ingestion
Photosynthesis, chemosynthesis and absorption
But there’s only one path to CACTUS
And it revolves around blasphemous
Cooking is the path to this deadly destruction

#17 – By Gaia gardener

A universal truth–we reap what we sow
And thus, CACTUS from MORT’s seed did grow,
Now a deadly weed in Earth’s garden
For which we beg mother Gaia’s pardon,
“Forgive us, in our denial we didn’t want to know!”

#18 – By Robin:

A Blockade of the Strait of Hormuz
by a President so confused
that he hastened the shift
off the Seneca Cliff
when he thought it was only a ruse.

#18A – By Robin (with edit by Renaee):

A Blockade of the Strait of Hormuz
by a President who is so confused
that he hastened the shift
off the Seneca Cliff
when he thought it was only a ruse.

#19 – By Robin:

A prickly cactus of arms
near the Strait of Hormuz, it swarms
to bottle the flood
of black global life-blood
as it backfires its economic harms.

#20 – By Hideaway:

I’ve been out limericked by Gaia and Renaee
There is nothing much left to say
In the fullness of time
When civilization is past it’s prime
Everyone wishes they’d been hiding away.

#21 – By el mar:

We humans believe to be smart,
but this thinking is also a fart!
We behave as created,
so don´t be frustrated.
Anyway entropy lets fall all apart!

#22 – By Robin:

The United States had a plan
to shoot up the state of Iran,
but they didn’t detect
that the guns on their deck
pointed backwards and shot their own cans.

#23 – By monk:

There once was a person aware
Of her own thoughts she could hear
With a start of fright
Her death was insight
So, she denied it to avoid the despair

#24 – By monk:

People think we can keep growing
Destroying the planet without knowing
That when the oil’s gone
We’ll be forlorn
That mass death is the only thing going

#25 – By monk:

There was a man from Mar‑a‑Lago
Who was dumber than a bonobo
Orange was his face
But he won election race
And now there’s no more oil cargo

#25A – By monk (with edit by Renaee):

There once was a man from Mar‑a‑Lago
Who was wicked dumb with much brovado
Orange was his face
But he won the election race
And now there’s no oil left in cargo

#26 – By Lurker:

In time it got more complicated
As supply lines got more integrated
Then out came one pin
And the whole thing caved in
So modernity got truly eliminated.

#27 – By Huldulæki:

There once was a panic in Norway,
As leaders moved fast without delay,
They reopened old wells,
As the loud worry swells,
To keep Europe’s lights on night and day.

#28 – By CampbellS:

A software engineer from Vancouver
Started an Un-denial maneuver
A guy from Australia
Made CACTUS the flavour
And now we’re all fucked
Now it’s the ultimate remover

#29 – By great unwashed:

Our civilisation had become quite trite
Extracting oil with all its might
Futile prepped and bought
Yet billions had naught
As our demise drew quickly, goodnight.

#29A – By great unwashed:

Our civilisation had become quite trite
Extracting oil with all its might
Futile prepped and bought
Yet billions had naught
As our demise drew quickly in sight

#30 – By monk:

There once was a system that grew
On old sunlight’s stores it withdrew
Yet growth couldn’t last
Once the limits were passed
And collapse came much sooner than due

#30A- By monk (with edit by Hideaway):

There once was a system that grew
On old sunlight’s stores we went through
Yet growth couldn’t last
Once the limits were passed
And collapse came much sooner than due

#31 – By Renaee:

Denial is the name of the game
Everywhere we look it’s the same
The planet is trashed
While we all worship cash
It’s true, the whole world is insane

#32 – By nikoB:

Said Netanyahu to the Trump
Go give Iran a thump
But with every blow that he threw
Iran decisively chewed
A bigger piece out of his rump

#33 – By Mark:

Hope is the way
The masses pray
With the world in despair
And so few MORT aware
Better get OK, with complexity going away.

#34 – By Gaia gardener:

Denial–a river so wide
To cross a challenge untried,
Brave Rob captained his motley crew
who rowed with conviction true,
Alas, ran CACTUS and capsized!